¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay competitive in a world with rapidly evolving

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-12-14 196

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that continues education improve our skill and it provides a chance to update our knowledge. It is true that many companies have asked people to do research and get training to be competitive. Although, I am pros of self-development, there are too many adverse effect. Firstly, people have just tried to acquire certification through online or offline classes. They don't usually put their attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. Secondly, people can be suffering from the stress to be the best in too competitive environment. Everything has changed quickly in modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted on serious health problem. Some people feel like commit a suicide due to competition. Lastly, people might study unnecessary subjects which are not related with their major or job. In conclusion, It;s worth to improve people's skill if company don't pus

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there! It's quite a tiring day today! I hope you're having a good one. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that continues education improve our skills and it provides a chance to update our knowledge.
>>> I strongly believe that continues education improve our skills and it provides a chance to upgrade our knowledge.
 It is true that many companies have asked people to do research and get training to be competitive. 
>>> CORRECT
Although, I am pros of self-development, there are too many adverse effect. 
>>> Although, I am positive of self-development, there are too many adverse effects. 
Firstly, people have just tried to acquire certification through online or offline classes. 
>>> CORRECT
They don't usually put their attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. 
>>> They don't usually pay attention while they are having a class because their final goal is to get a result. 
Secondly, people can be suffering from the stress to be the best in too competitive environment.
>>> Secondly, people can be suffering from stress to be the best in a too competitive environment.
 Everything has changed quickly in modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted on serious health problem. 
>>>  Everything has changed quickly in the modern society therefore if people don't develop themselves, they will be one of the looser that might be resulted in a serious health problem. 
Some people feel like commit a suicide due to competition. 
>>> Some people feel like committing a suicide due to the competition. 
Lastly, people might study unnecessary subjects which are not related with their major or job. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, it's worth to improve people's skill if the company doesn't...
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114782 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 398
114781 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 111
114780 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 971
114779 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114778 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 2
114777 Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 232
114776 How do you want to enjoy your vacation in February next year? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 287
114775 12/16 ³ë*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 140
114774 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 228
114773 I\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 262
114772 Why is it necessary to make plans in advance? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 251
114771 I\\\'m doing my homework...^^ ¹Ú*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 346
114770 What¡¯s the best place you¡¯ve ever been to? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114769 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114768 How would be life without art? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 6585
114767 What advice would you give to those foreigners studying... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 160
114766 What might happen if you won\'t use any phones in a day, week,... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114765 What actions are not allowed in your country? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-16 1
114764 Do you want to learn how to drive? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114763 12.15 homework ÀÓ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04