¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think birthdays are important? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-12-13 89

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my opinion, birthdays are important.
Because in a birthday, there is many meanings about a birth.
And also a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.
And I am one of the people so I also think that birthdays are important.
Also celebrating a birthday is one of the ways to remeber our parents.
Thanks for our parents, we are existing in this world.
That's why celebreating a birthday can be one of the ways to remeber our parents.
So I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John:) 

Birthdays are great. It's a day meant to celebrate your existence in this world. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

In my opinion, birthdays are important.
>> CORRECT

Because in a birthday, there is many meanings about a birth.
>> There are many traditional things to do during a person's birthday. 

And also a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.
>> Also, a lot of people are thinking that birthdays are important to them.. 

And I am one of the people so I also think that birthdays are important.
>> I am one of those people. 

Also celebrating a birthday is one of the ways to remeber our parents.
>> This is also another way for us to remember our parents. 

Thanks for our parents, we are existing in this world.
>> We should thank them because they are the reason why we exist in this world. 

That's why celebreating a birthday can be one of the ways to remeber our parents.
>> This is the reason why we can appreciate them more. 

So I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.
>> So, I think all the birthdays are important to everyone.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114715 Korean drama. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 101
114714 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 129
114713 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 93
114712 Favorite way to practice ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 4
114711 Why did you choose your major? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 342
114710 What is your biggest regret in your life and why? °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114709 What is your biggest regret in your life and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 2779
114708 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1
114707 Tuesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 133
114706 Is this sentence grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 127
114705 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114704 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1
114703 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114702 What do you think about coffee shop hopping? Please give details... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 111
114701 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114700 You sent a lot of questions. I did try to post all of the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 113
114699 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 105
114698 home work ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 514
114697 What is the benefit of eating healthy? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 2
114696 What is the most famous place for tourists in your country? ±Ý*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 127

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04