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What are the five things you have on your bucket list?

작성자: 안*원
2021-12-08 126

회원님의 영작문

First, I want to try extreme sports like sky diving, bungee jump, and Paragliding. Whenever I saw it anywhere, I'am a little scared but I think it'll be fun, so I'd really like to try them if I have a chance.
Second, I want to travel abroad with my family. At this time, there are conditions, it is not with Koreans on a package trip so with only our family, and use an English country. because, I transfer with others people and being a tour guide for my family.
Third, I want to drink and play overnight with my friends. because, I have a curfew, I can't experience this time in 20 years.
Then, I want to watch any performance like musical at Opera house in Sydney. because, Opera house is one of my favorite structure. and also I like to watch a musical, play, and drama too,
Finally, This is the goal I want to achieve in my college, that I want to go to an exchange student. So, I experience culture of other country and also i want to make foreign friends.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Hye Won!
Your answer is nice.  It's good you have explained your answer in detail.  Keep it up! :)

-T. Maine

First, I want to try extreme sports like sky diving, bungee jump, and Paragliding. 
>>First, I want to try some extreme sports such as sky diving, bungee jumping, and paragliding. 
Whenever I saw it anywhere, I'am a little scared but I think it'll be fun, so I'd really like to try them if I have a chance.
>>Whenever I see it anywhere, I'm a little scared but I think it'll be fun.  So I'd really like to try them if I have a chance. 
Second, I want to travel abroad with my family. 
>>Correct. 
At this time, there are conditions, it is not with Koreans on a package trip so with only our family, and use an English country. 
>>This time, there are some conditions.  I would like to travel to an English country on a package trip. 
because, I transfer with others people and being a tour guide for my family.
>>It is because I will be with my family members and I will be a tour guide for them. 
Third, I want to drink and play overnight with my friends. 
>>Correct. 
because, I have a curfew, I can't experience this time in 20 years.
>>I have a curfew and I can't experience this time in 20 years. 
Then, I want to watch any performance like musical at Opera house in Sydney. 
>>Then I want to watch a performance like a musical in an Opera house in Sydney. 
because, Opera house is one of my favorite structure. 
>>The Opera house is one of my favorite structures in Australia. 
and also I like to watch a musical, play, and drama too,
>>In addition, I like to watch musical plays and dramas, too. 
Finally, This is the goal I want to achieve in my college, that I want to go to an exchange student. 
>>Finally, this is the goal that I want to achieve in my college life.  I want to be an exchange student. 
So, I experience culture of other country and also i want to make foreign friends.
>>So that I could experience the culture of another country and I want to make friends with foreigners. 

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