¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young Ann, and old Ann

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-08 187

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
But now I don't know it is good or bad.
When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

You can notice that you have matured in those changes. Good job! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
>> I judge myself a lot about so many things. 

Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
>> Long time ago, when I was student, I was very weak. 

When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
>> When someone say sensitive things to me, I get hurt and cry easily. 

But now I don't know it is good or bad.
>> But I don't know whether it's good or bad. 

When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
>> When I hear that someone is saying bad things to me, I just fight them right away. 

Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
>> I don't cry or get angry anymore and I try to refute it with logic. 

I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.
>> I think those are the difference between the old Ann and the Ann now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113922 Do you want to be a business woman? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 2
113921 What are the rules you usually break? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 1
113920 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-17 151
113919 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 128
113918 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 366
113917 Religion is good thing but... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 123
113916 Weak country always be colonized by strong country ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 137
113915 Today different types of robots are being developed which can... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 182
113914 What are the advantages in disadvantages of having a... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 2
113913 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 114
113912 HOMEWORK ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 358
113911 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 134
113910 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 143
113909 Would you rather be poor and happy of rich and unhappy? ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 1
113908 homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 135
113907 Stress ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 2
113906 Kindly answer the following in essay form. Are there any... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 136
113905 Why do we dream? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 0
113904 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 152
113903 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-16 159

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04