¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Young Ann, and old Ann

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-12-08 177

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
But now I don't know it is good or bad.
When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:) 

You can notice that you have matured in those changes. Good job! 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

I am judging to myself so many thing change inside my mind.
>> I judge myself a lot about so many things. 

Long time ago when I was student, I was very young and just weak.
>> Long time ago, when I was student, I was very weak. 

When I heard a little bit of sensitivity sentences, it was very hurts and I cried right away.
>> When someone say sensitive things to me, I get hurt and cry easily. 

But now I don't know it is good or bad.
>> But I don't know whether it's good or bad. 

When I heard some that bother me I can't hold in it. Just fight right away.
>> When I hear that someone is saying bad things to me, I just fight them right away. 

Not cry only angry and I try to refute it with logic.
>> I don't cry or get angry anymore and I try to refute it with logic. 

I think.....that is most different thing young Ann, and now Ann.
>> I think those are the difference between the old Ann and the Ann now. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114140 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 3
114139 THANK YOU Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 143
114138 Return to normal could stop wiht rise in serious COVID19 cases À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 1
114137 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114136 If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in?... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 154
114135 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 138
114134 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 151
114133 Why should/shouldn\'t we have hobbies? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 148
114132 I\'ll give Ramen to them ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 130
114131 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 149
114130 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 169
114129 HOMEWORK Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 318
114128 As we grow older, we need to have more time for recreation and... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 152
114127 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 2
114126 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 195
114125 Falling stars ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 136
114124 What¡¯s the best way to pass job interviews? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 185
114123 If you had money to spare, what would you buy or invest in?... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0
114122 Obeying Your parents ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 133
114121 What do you think is the best city in South Korea? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-24 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04