¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Birth day is my special day.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-01 512

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My special day is my birth day. My birth day is like anniversary about me. At that time, I had been always happy because there were people that celebrated my birth. It means they love me. I can depend on people who love me. Then, I feel comfortable just people who love me are exist. However, if the people who celebrate my birth day are not exist, it means there are no people who love me, so I will be very sad. Therefore, I always have to thank for God just that people are exist.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Your homework is well-organized and easy to understand. Good job! However, remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences.

I am glad that you appreciate the people who love you and that you are thankful for them.

- Teacher Debbie


My special day is my birth day. 
>> My special day is my birthday.

My birth day is like anniversary about me.
>> It is like my anniversary.

 At that time, I had been always happy because there were people that celebrated my birth. 
>> During that time, I am always happy because there are people who celebrate it with me.

It means they love me. 
>> This is a good sentence.

I can depend on people who love me.
>> This is a good sentence.

Then, I feel comfortable just people who love me are exist. 
>> I am thankful that they exist.

However, if the people who celebrate my birth day are not exist, it means there are no people who love me, so I will be very sad. 
>> If they didn't, nobody could love me, and I would be very sad.

Therefore, I always have to thank for God just that people are exist.
>> Therefore, I always have to thank God for them.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114214 Do you watch commercials or skip them? Answer in a few sentences. ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-27 107
114213 Argument ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 510
114212 I bought a new smart phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 94
114211 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 110
114210 ÈÞ°­°ü·Ã Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 131
114209 Customer realtionship ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 110
114208 Homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 0
114207 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 105
114206 If you were going to be a teacher, where would you like to teach? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 3
114205 I think Seoul is the best city in Korea. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 96
114204 The meaning of Having children to me. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 127
114203 food recommendation for foreigners. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 508
114202 What are the things that you love to buy? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 0
114201 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 94
114200 email related to my work ÃÖ*¿µ ÁøÇàÁß 2021-11-26 1
114199 Blue Whale 🐳 ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 90
114198 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 109
114197 How could you decline offers of help politely? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 274
114196 Do you like to be busy, or do you like to have an easy schedule?... ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 94
114195 What are the things that you love to buy? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-26 1565

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04