¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Birth day is my special day.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-12-01 548

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

My special day is my birth day. My birth day is like anniversary about me. At that time, I had been always happy because there were people that celebrated my birth. It means they love me. I can depend on people who love me. Then, I feel comfortable just people who love me are exist. However, if the people who celebrate my birth day are not exist, it means there are no people who love me, so I will be very sad. Therefore, I always have to thank for God just that people are exist.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel!  Your homework is well-organized and easy to understand. Good job! However, remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences.

I am glad that you appreciate the people who love you and that you are thankful for them.

- Teacher Debbie


My special day is my birth day. 
>> My special day is my birthday.

My birth day is like anniversary about me.
>> It is like my anniversary.

 At that time, I had been always happy because there were people that celebrated my birth. 
>> During that time, I am always happy because there are people who celebrate it with me.

It means they love me. 
>> This is a good sentence.

I can depend on people who love me.
>> This is a good sentence.

Then, I feel comfortable just people who love me are exist. 
>> I am thankful that they exist.

However, if the people who celebrate my birth day are not exist, it means there are no people who love me, so I will be very sad. 
>> If they didn't, nobody could love me, and I would be very sad.

Therefore, I always have to thank for God just that people are exist.
>> Therefore, I always have to thank God for them.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114951 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114950 Homework ÀÌ*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 2
114949 Transportation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 167
114948 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 127
114947 Do you like trying new reataurants, or do you prefer to go to... ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 495
114946 Household Chores Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 146
114945 What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 97
114944 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 149
114943 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114942 Why do you think eating fish is good for you? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114941 homework ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114940 What worry do you have nowadays? What good advice can you give... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 119
114939 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 128
114938 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 129
114937 home work(¼÷Á¦) ÃÖ*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 473
114936 What offers do you always refuse? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 122
114935 What game I play with my mom ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 365
114934 What is the importance of having a close relationship with your... ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 1
114933 If Korea getting together ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 341
114932 What do you think will happen if North Korea and South Korea are... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-22 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04