¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

if i can change my personality

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-01 169

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can change one of my personalities, it is perfect to everything.
This personality can work perfectly without mistakes when i am woking on it.
Sometimes I get so stressed out.
Habits that i always check and check sometimes make my body and mind tired.
It can't be easily fixed, but if I can change it, I want to change my personality and live.
But I think it helped a lot when I made plans or prepared for my itinerary.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Being a perfectionist has advantages and disadvantages. My advice for you is balance this personality of yours. :) You don't necessarily have to get rid of it. Just pick situations where this trait would be suitable. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

If I can change one of my personalities, it is perfect to everything.
>> If I can change one of my personalities, it would be being a perfectionist. 

This personality can work perfectly without mistakes when i am woking on it.
>> This personality of mine it when I want to work without making mistakes. 

Sometimes I get so stressed out.
>> Sometimes I get so stressed out because of this trait of mine.

Habits that i always check and check sometimes make my body and mind tired.
>> I have this habit that I always check something multiple time resulting to my body and mind getting exhausted, 

It can't be easily fixed, but if I can change it, I want to change my personality and live.
>> It can't be easily fixed, but I am willing to try to make my life better. 

But I think it helped a lot when I made plans or prepared for my itinerary.
>> But I think that at some point, this personality of mine helped me when it comes to planning and preparing my itineraries. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114068 When is drinking alcohol a vice? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 4
114067 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 343
114066 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 245
114065 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 171
114064 What is your most important goal next week? ±è*¹¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 384
114063 My school homework ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1229
114062 Especially, It has two questions today~~ ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 118
114061 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114060 What is your proudest accomplishment so far this year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114059 Do you think things will go back to the way they used to before... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 0
114058 Nonregular jobs incerase faster in 5 major cities À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114057 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114056 What is the most interesting city to visit in your country? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1037
114055 DonQuixote ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 155
114054 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114053 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 3
114052 1122 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114051 1122 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1
114050 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 184
114049 Who always notices first when you make a mistake? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04