¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

if i can change my personality

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-01 143

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can change one of my personalities, it is perfect to everything.
This personality can work perfectly without mistakes when i am woking on it.
Sometimes I get so stressed out.
Habits that i always check and check sometimes make my body and mind tired.
It can't be easily fixed, but if I can change it, I want to change my personality and live.
But I think it helped a lot when I made plans or prepared for my itinerary.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Being a perfectionist has advantages and disadvantages. My advice for you is balance this personality of yours. :) You don't necessarily have to get rid of it. Just pick situations where this trait would be suitable. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

If I can change one of my personalities, it is perfect to everything.
>> If I can change one of my personalities, it would be being a perfectionist. 

This personality can work perfectly without mistakes when i am woking on it.
>> This personality of mine it when I want to work without making mistakes. 

Sometimes I get so stressed out.
>> Sometimes I get so stressed out because of this trait of mine.

Habits that i always check and check sometimes make my body and mind tired.
>> I have this habit that I always check something multiple time resulting to my body and mind getting exhausted, 

It can't be easily fixed, but if I can change it, I want to change my personality and live.
>> It can't be easily fixed, but I am willing to try to make my life better. 

But I think it helped a lot when I made plans or prepared for my itinerary.
>> But I think that at some point, this personality of mine helped me when it comes to planning and preparing my itineraries. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114462 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 2
114461 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114460 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 482
114459 How do you greet your family and your friends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114458 The kids should help small work. ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 1
114457 What is your goal for this coming year? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 4
114456 What\'s the food that you usually order in your favorite... ÀÓ*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 6
114455 Why is it important to know the traffic rules when driving? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-06 0
114454 hi, Jasmin ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114453 Essy2 ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114452 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 106
114451 Ending my day. ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114450 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 137
114449 The country I will never visit:Afghanistan ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 109
114448 Do you make a wish when you see a falling star? Why or why not? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114447 What aspect of your health do you want to improve on? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114446 Do you agree or disagree, \"Children should always obey their... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114445 Describe a time when your work was criticized? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 150
114444 How do you control your emotions in you profession? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 1
114443 Who is your favorite BTS member? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-05 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04