¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

if i can change my personality

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-01 150

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can change one of my personalities, it is perfect to everything.
This personality can work perfectly without mistakes when i am woking on it.
Sometimes I get so stressed out.
Habits that i always check and check sometimes make my body and mind tired.
It can't be easily fixed, but if I can change it, I want to change my personality and live.
But I think it helped a lot when I made plans or prepared for my itinerary.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Being a perfectionist has advantages and disadvantages. My advice for you is balance this personality of yours. :) You don't necessarily have to get rid of it. Just pick situations where this trait would be suitable. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

If I can change one of my personalities, it is perfect to everything.
>> If I can change one of my personalities, it would be being a perfectionist. 

This personality can work perfectly without mistakes when i am woking on it.
>> This personality of mine it when I want to work without making mistakes. 

Sometimes I get so stressed out.
>> Sometimes I get so stressed out because of this trait of mine.

Habits that i always check and check sometimes make my body and mind tired.
>> I have this habit that I always check something multiple time resulting to my body and mind getting exhausted, 

It can't be easily fixed, but if I can change it, I want to change my personality and live.
>> It can't be easily fixed, but I am willing to try to make my life better. 

But I think it helped a lot when I made plans or prepared for my itinerary.
>> But I think that at some point, this personality of mine helped me when it comes to planning and preparing my itineraries. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114552 How would you compare yourself now to the old you? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 117
114551 Is this sentence grammatically correct? °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 93
114550 Wednesday Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 111
114549 If you could use a magical spell, like a love spell, on... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114548 The bus station ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 0
114547 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 108
114546 What are the five things you have on your bucket list? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 143
114545 Homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 4
114544 Lou ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 125
114543 Why it is important to have a permission ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 134
114542 Where is it best for you to stay over? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 119
114541 Rider shortage driving up cost of your order À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114540 What is the best memory you have of you and your family doing... ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 99
114539 What do you think of traveling amid the pandemic? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 161
114538 What do you usually do on weekends? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 1
114537 Young Ann, and old Ann ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-08 160
114536 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 490
114535 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 776
114534 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 109
114533 lend money ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-07 516

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04