¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

if i can change my personality

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Çù
2021-12-01 167

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can change one of my personalities, it is perfect to everything.
This personality can work perfectly without mistakes when i am woking on it.
Sometimes I get so stressed out.
Habits that i always check and check sometimes make my body and mind tired.
It can't be easily fixed, but if I can change it, I want to change my personality and live.
But I think it helped a lot when I made plans or prepared for my itinerary.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Evan:) 

Being a perfectionist has advantages and disadvantages. My advice for you is balance this personality of yours. :) You don't necessarily have to get rid of it. Just pick situations where this trait would be suitable. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

-Teacher Elise

If I can change one of my personalities, it is perfect to everything.
>> If I can change one of my personalities, it would be being a perfectionist. 

This personality can work perfectly without mistakes when i am woking on it.
>> This personality of mine it when I want to work without making mistakes. 

Sometimes I get so stressed out.
>> Sometimes I get so stressed out because of this trait of mine.

Habits that i always check and check sometimes make my body and mind tired.
>> I have this habit that I always check something multiple time resulting to my body and mind getting exhausted, 

It can't be easily fixed, but if I can change it, I want to change my personality and live.
>> It can't be easily fixed, but I am willing to try to make my life better. 

But I think it helped a lot when I made plans or prepared for my itinerary.
>> But I think that at some point, this personality of mine helped me when it comes to planning and preparing my itineraries. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114727 I have a question ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 1
114726 Pandemic ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 148
114725 Please write your journal on the homework page. ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-15 159
114724 Homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 210
114723 what I do when my homework is difficult ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 494
114722 What does the paragraph mean? Share your answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 112
114721 Online ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 140
114720 Essay ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 108
114719 Bithday is special day:) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 152
114718 I hope the pandemic ends soon. ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 155
114717 Nap have to be moderate. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 137
114716 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 141
114715 Korean drama. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 114
114714 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 139
114713 Homework ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 103
114712 Favorite way to practice ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 4
114711 Why did you choose your major? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 372
114710 What is your biggest regret in your life and why? °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 0
114709 What is your biggest regret in your life and why? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 2808
114708 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-12-14 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04