¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think parents must set time limits for their children to use mobile applications? What type o

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-11-30 124

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is the most serious problem that children have these days. The amount of screen time that teenagers spend every day is a lot. Children easily don't feel bored using devices due to a lot of contents such as games, videos and comic books. Many parents have concern of restriction. There are many ways to limit children's data consumption. However, children can use WI-FI in most places, even in public transportation. I am not sure if restriction works for juveniles, although parents manage their children's data packages. Nevertheless, it has a problem to manage data usages, I agree to set time limits for them because there are a lot of side effects, if children use mobile devices too much time. They might have psychological disease due to virtual spaces on the internet. It is also possible that children can't tell what is real life. In conclusion, It is essential to restrict time for children to keep their health.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. Hwang! I'm sorry about yesterday! I was having migraine and couldn't sleep well the other night so I decided to take a leave! Anyway, I know you always enjoy your time with a substitute teacher!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It is the most serious problem that children have these days.
>>> CORRECT
 The amount of screen time that teenagers spend every day is a lot. 
>>>  The time spend by teenagers on their screen is too much. 
Children easily don't feel bored using devices due to a lot of contents such as games, videos and comic books.
>>> CORRECT
 Many parents have concerns of restriction. 
>>> CORRECT
There are many ways to limit children's data consumption.
>>> CORRECT
 However, children can use WI-FI in most places, even in public transportation.
>>> CORRECT
 I am not sure if restriction works for juveniles, although parents manage their children's data packages.
>>> CORRECT
 Nevertheless, it has a problem to manage data usages, I agree to set time limits for them because there are a lot of side effects, if children use mobile devices too much.
>>> CORRECT
 They might have psychological diseases due to virtual spaces on the internet. 
>>> CORRECT
It is also possible that children can't tell what is real life. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, It is essential to restrict time for children to keep their health.
>>> In conclusion, it is essential to restrict  the time of mobile use for children to keep their health.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114015 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114014 Would you rather sleep or eat when you\'re tired? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 4
114013 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 3
114012 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 134
114011 Homework °­*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 150
114010 King and Queen ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 158
114009 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 206
114008 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
114007 What do you think of the proverb, \"beauty is in the eye of the... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 0
114006 Sorry Fiona È«*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 101
114005 Face-to-Face phishing on trise : Police À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
114004 Some people believe that happiness and emotional maturity are... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 783
114003 Which do you think is the most difficult language? Why? ye*nhi ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 182
114002 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 162
114001 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 134
114000 Homework ±è*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 709
113999 1119 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 399
113998 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 807
113997 Are you the type of person who easily apologizes or do you let... ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 1
113996 Do you mind sharing your problems with your friends? È«*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-19 125

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04