무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do humans have the right to hunt and kill animals? Why do you say so?

작성자: 선*
2021-11-30 116

회원님의 영작문

Yes, I think so. From the bible, God allows us to be free of eating anything other than one fruit in the middle of the garden. That’s why we humans survive over history from hunters-gathers to technological societies. Have you heard food chain? We live in systematic structures which looks like a pyramid. It means the highest one has the most power to control the system, and it is invincible in the food chain. If we let animals coexist in the same stage as us, animals can conquer us and take over our place in the food chain. It leads to them having the right to kill and hunt humans.
Though we don’t eat animal meats, we neuter animals to reduce the number of animals. In this case, do we need to ask animals whether they would like to be neutered or not? Nobody doesn’t do that. We take the animals to the vet and let animals be neutered. I think animals cannot be humans, so we don’t need to treat animals as human beings. Animals are animals.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Sun Jung!  Thank you for doing your homework.  You have answered the question appropriately.  Remember to use pronouns to replace nouns in your sentences though.


- Debbie


Yes, I think so. 
>>  This is a good sentence.

From the bible, God allows us to be free of eating anything other than one fruit in the middle of the garden. 
>> In the Bible, God allows us to eat freely other than the fruit in the middle of the garden.

That’s why we humans survive over history from hunters-gathers to technological societies.
>> That's why we, humans, evolved from being hunter-gatherers to builders of technological societies.

Have you heard food chain? 
>> Have you heard of a food chain?

We live in systematic structures which looks like a pyramid.
>>  We live in a systematic structure that looks like a pyramid.

It means the highest one has the most power to control the system, and it is invincible in the food chain.
>> The one on top has the most power to control the system and is invincible in the food chain.

If we let animals coexist in the same stage as us, animals can conquer us and take over our place in the food chain. 
>> If we let animals coexist in the same stage, they could conquer us and take over our place in the food chain. 

It leads to them having the right to kill and hunt humans.
>> They could hunt and kill humans.

Though we don’t eat animal meats, we neuter animals to reduce the number of animals. 
>> Though we don’t eat meat, we neuter animals to reduce their number.

In this case, do we need to ask animals whether they would like to be neutered or not?
>> In this case, do we need to ask them whether they would like to be neutered or not?

 Nobody doesn’t do that. 
>> Nobody does that.

We take the animals to the vet and let animals be neutered.
>> We take them to a vet and let them be neutered.

 I think animals cannot be humans, so we don’t need to treat animals as human beings. 
>> I think animals cannot be humans, so we don't need to treat them as human beings.

Animals are animals.
>>  This is a good sentence.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
114089 What makes you sad? Why? ye*nhi 완료 2021-11-23 159
114088 (y)homework 안*영 완료 2021-11-23 0
114087 Homework 함*주 완료 2021-11-23 1
114086 housing prices 권*희 완료 2021-11-23 1103
114085 \"Experience is the best teacher\". Do you agree with this? 서*영 완료 2021-11-23 1
114084 Do you think things will go back to the way they used to before... 박*주 완료 2021-11-23 260
114083 What\'s the most beautiful place you have visited? 주*석 완료 2021-11-23 1
114082 moon base 윤*진 완료 2021-11-23 1
114081 correction RQ if any. 서*범 완료 2021-11-23 4
114080 Homework 오*은 완료 2021-11-22 160
114079 What car would you want to drive when you are working? (Since I... 이*연 완료 2021-11-22 131
114078 Why is honesty important? 권*윤 완료 2021-11-22 2
114077 11/22 homework 오*결 완료 2021-11-22 159
114076 My situation. 이*민 완료 2021-11-22 497
114075 homework 김*연 완료 2021-11-22 173
114074 My Homework 강*우 완료 2021-11-22 126
114073 homework 정*호 완료 2021-11-22 0
114072 Homework {11/22} 차*빈 완료 2021-11-22 151
114071 What is the most time-consuming thing you do in your life? 김*은 완료 2021-11-22 2
114070 Around me 민*정 완료 2021-11-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]