¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that parents should deal with bad behavior of their children. While others says

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-11-25 88

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The law is created by law makers after longstanding debate among social members to regulate their behavior. This is the minimum rules people have to follow. If they don't keep it, there will be serious social problem that might cause social collapse. However, every situation aren't able to be involved in the law due to varieties of life. Furthermore, there is special law for adolescent which is stated that teenagers who are 10 to 14 years old can't be punished by the law because they don't construct their personalities and responsibilities yet. Our law consider as the ones who don't know what justice is yet. That's why home discipline is the important factor to shape them. A baby grow up by imitating everything their parents do from speaking to behavior, hence, parents must take a greater role in shaping their children's future regarding moral behavior. Although, most people know the importance of home discipline, it's really hard for them to follow right method due to busy life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi MR. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for today! Weekends are always the highlight of our week, that is why we love to share with others the amazing things we did. Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The law is created by law makers after longstanding debate among social members to regulate their behavior. 
>>> The law is created by the law makers after a longstanding debate among social members to regulate their behavior. 
This is the minimum rules people have to follow. 
>>> These are the least rules people have to follow. 
If they don't keep it, there will be a serious social problem that might cause social collapse. 
>>>CORRECT
However, every situation aren't able to be involved in the law due to varieties of life. 
>>> However, every circumstance isn't able to be involved in the law due to various ways of life. 
Furthermore, there is special law for adolescent which is stated that teenagers who are 10 to 14 years old can't be punished by the law because they don't construct their personalities and responsibilities yet. 
>>> Furthermore, there is a special law for adolescent which is stated that teenagers who are 10 to 14 years old can't be punished by the law because they haven't constructed their personalities and responsibilities yet. 
Our law consider as the ones who don't know what justice is yet.
>>> Our law considers those who don't know what justice is.
 That's why home discipline is an important factor to shape them.
>>>CORRECT
 A baby grow up by imitating everything their parents do from speaking to behavior, hence, parents must take a greater role in shaping their children's future regarding moral behavior.
>>>  A baby grows up by imitating everything their parents do from speaking to their behavior, hence, parents must take a greater role in shaping their children's future regarding moral behavior.
 Although, most people know the importance of home discipline, it's really hard for them to follow the right method due to their busy life.
>>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
114331 underage ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 142
114330 What are your long-term plans? ÁÖ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 0
114329 My sitation ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 138
114328 Homework ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1
114327 my job ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 1
114326 Homework ¹æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 129
114325 Moon man next story À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 234
114324 What do you and your family usually do during Christmas? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 103
114323 Have you ever dreamt about something that later came true? ¼­*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 128
114322 What is good about renting something? ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 0
114321 who\'s the biggest art fan you know? À±*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-12-01 8
114320 When are secrets a good thing? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 701
114319 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 82
114318 What I will buy gift in christmas to my family ±è*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 78
114317 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 2
114316 Walking with family is the most important, and best out door... ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 85
114315 What are the positive things about watching TV? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 143
114314 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 115
114313 essay about \"Have you ever been to a farm?\" ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 148
114312 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-30 294

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04