¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that happiness and emotional maturity are more important than physical health, w

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-11-19 831

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that mental health is more important than physical health. It easy to treat diseases which are not involved with emotional problem but if patients have mental issues, it would be more difficult to be treated. Most treatment regimen for psychological patients are medication which prevent to get worse or keep current symptom. People who enjoy their life usually manage their condition very well. One of the main outbreaks of the disease is stress, it means that people can keep their health by managing their emotion healthy. There is program which is named "laughter therapy" in my hospital. It makes people to think in positive way and the shows quite good outputs, However, to keep healthy body by doing exercise and taking good nutrition is also important.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

A beautiful day Mr. Hwang! Thanks for the class today! Be careful in your dealings! Have a great weekend! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that mental health is more important than physical health. 
>>> CORRECT
It easy to treat diseases which are not involved with emotional problem but if patients have mental issues, it would be more difficult to be treated.
>>> It easy to treat diseases which are not involved with emotional problems but if patients have mental issues, it would be more difficult for them to be treated.
 Most treatment regimen for psychological patients are medication which prevent to get worse or keep current symptom. 
>>>  Most treatment regimen for psychological patients are medication which prevent to get worse or keep current symptoms. 
People who enjoy their life usually manage their condition very well. 
>>> CORRECT
One of the main outbreaks of the disease is stress, it means that people can keep their health by managing their emotion healthy. 
>>> CORRECT
There is program which is named "laughter therapy" in my hospital.
>>> There is a program which is called "laughter therapy" in my hospital.
It makes people to think in positive way and the shows quite good outputs, However, to keep healthy body by doing exercise and taking good nutrition is also important.
>>> It makes people to think in a positive way and they show quite good outputs, however, to keep healthy body by doing exercise and taking good nutrition is also important.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113414 Have you ever volunteered to help victims of natural disasters?... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 186
113413 My favorite restaurant ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 1
113412 What natural disaster do you fear the most? and why? ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 634
113411 Advertisements of the e-mail À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-31 158
113410 If you can spend a day with a famous person, who would you pick... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 225
113409 10 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 228
113408 8 ä*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 177
113407 It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 228
113406 In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 438
113405 What are some effective ways to handle rejections? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 2
113404 When is the right time for you to fall in love? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 657
113403 homework ³²*¸¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 223
113402 If you can spend a day with a famous person, who would you pick... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-30 1
113401 Turtles can breathe by their hips ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 771
113400 Natural disaster ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 382
113399 Have you ever lost something while travelling? ¹®*À² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 206
113398 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 574
113397 Do you agree that money makes the world go around? ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 359
113396 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 360
113395 what korean do in winter season and what happens. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-29 217

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04