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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

For Jisun Oral Test 3

작성자: 류*선
2021-11-18 102

회원님의 영작문

Introduction
Hi! My name is Jane, a management guru. Did you throw in the towel? Have you been thinking of the worst-case scenario on your business? or do you think that you drop the ball? No worries. I’m here to tell you all about insight and the best strategy. By virtue of today’s speech, you can manage and get your coffee shop business right. It’s understandable you think it is almost impossible to bring your company back to life. However, if you trust me when I say, you will be in a league of your own throughout your business.
Today’s speech format is “a problem and a solution.”
Ideas about repairing company culture
Problem1 - Lack of managing employees
Solution for problem 1. To get the ball rolling, we need a manager at each coffee shop who has the ability to care for employees mentally. Employees get the runaround by customers. They do need care from someone first so that hit it out of the park.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Nice work, Jane! I think you could share more effective business strategies. I can't wait to read the next one!-Faith-
Introduction
>> CORRECT
Hi! 
>> CORRECT
My name is Jane, a management guru. 
>> CORRECT
Did you throw in the towel? 
>> Have you thrown in the towel on your business?
Have you been thinking of the worst-case scenario on your business? 
>> Have you been thinking of the worst-case scenario in your business? 
or do you think that you drop the ball? 
>> Or do you think that you drop the ball? 
No worries. 
OR It's time to get rid of your worries.
I’m here to tell you all about insight and the best strategy. 
>> I’m here to tell you all about my insights and the best strategies. 
By virtue of today’s speech, you can manage and get your coffee shop business right. 
>> CORRECT
OR By virtue of today’s presentation, you can manage and get your coffee shop business going right. 
It’s understandable you think it is almost impossible to bring your company back to life. 
>> It’s understandable if you think that it is almost impossible to bring your company back to life. 
However, if you trust me when I say, you will be in a league of your own throughout your business.
>> However, trust me when I say you will be in a league of your own throughout your business.
Today’s speech format is “a problem and a solution.”
>> CORRECT
OR Today’s presentation has two main points: a problem and a solution.
Ideas about repairing company culture
>> Here are some ideas about repairing company culture:
Problem1 - Lack of managing employees
>> Problem 1 - Lack of Managing Employees
Solution for problem 
>> Solution to the Problem:
1. To get the ball rolling, we need a manager at each coffee shop who has the ability to care for employees mentally. 
>> 1. To get the ball rolling, we need a manager in each coffee shop who has the ability to take care of his/her employees' mental health. 
Employees get the runaround by customers. 
>> Sometimes, employees get the runaround from customers. 
They do need care from someone first so that hit it out of the park.
>> So, they do need to be cared by someone first so that they could hit it out of the park!
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114209 Customer realtionship 이*민 완료 2021-11-26 113
114208 Homework 박*민 완료 2021-11-26 0
114207 My Homework 강*우 완료 2021-11-26 123
114206 If you were going to be a teacher, where would you like to teach? 김*은 완료 2021-11-26 3
114205 I think Seoul is the best city in Korea. 박*협 완료 2021-11-26 115
114204 The meaning of Having children to me. 박*협 완료 2021-11-26 160
114203 food recommendation for foreigners. 박*협 완료 2021-11-26 530
114202 What are the things that you love to buy? Explain why. 여*진 완료 2021-11-26 0
114201 Homework 강*선 완료 2021-11-26 118
114200 email related to my work 최*영 진행중 2021-11-26 1
114199 Blue Whale 🐳 기*현 완료 2021-11-26 112
114198 Homework 김*혁 완료 2021-11-26 120
114197 How could you decline offers of help politely? 신*섭 완료 2021-11-26 289
114196 Do you like to be busy, or do you like to have an easy schedule?... ye*nhi 완료 2021-11-26 104
114195 What are the things that you love to buy? 박*주 완료 2021-11-26 1583
114194 Tell me about the most beautiful place in Korea. 주*석 완료 2021-11-26 0
114193 I love to buy clothes:) 이*은 완료 2021-11-26 98

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

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