¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the common crimes committed in South Korea and how do you think should be lessened?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-11-18 514

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What are the common crimes committed in South Korea and how do you think should be lessened?

Our country doesn't have a lot of crime.
Recently, crimes of child abuse is increasing every year. It is emerging the social problem.
It is difficult to deal with an individual family problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica:)

I actually heard about that and I feel really bad for those children. I hope they can get the justice that they deserve. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

Our country doesn't have a lot of crime.
>> CORRECT

Recently, crimes of child abuse is increasing every year. 
>> Recently, crimes on child abuse is increasing.

It is emerging the social problem.
>> It is an emerging social problem. 

It is difficult to deal with an individual family problem.
>> It is difficult to deal with individual family problems. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113835 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 0
113834 What are the advantages and disadvantages of being the oldest... ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 3
113833 Sermon 3 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 598
113832 Sermon 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 139
113831 Sermon 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 172
113830 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 163
113829 How to check À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 153
113828 Netflix À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 99
113827 the best way to quit smoking ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 1
113826 Why do people feel like it\'s mandatory to attend year-end... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-13 2
113825 Sports for women ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 147
113824 What male appearance is attractive to you? Answer in a few... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 163
113823 Do you consider appearance when you choose a friend? ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 127
113822 Forgive ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 151
113821 What is the best art for you? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 1
113820 Appointment ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 134
113819 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 152
113818 nap helps me to work in good vibe °­* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 6
113817 Kindly explain your family in your own words. Make at least 6 or... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 0
113816 Who do you think is the best South Korean politician? Explain... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-12 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04