¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Korea\'s big problem

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Àº
2021-11-08 138

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my personal opinion the most big problem is riches there gonna be the more riches, poors there goona be the more poors.
Because our economic structure do not working rounding.
House price, the land price gonna be the more higher and higher every day.
Riches they very quickly got it because they have a lot of money and heard about something news, but just normal people we don't have any money and news.
The money circulation structure looks like I think it's becoming abnormal.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Ann:)

Our countries are experiencing different problems that affects the citizens living in it. I hope the ones that you have stated would be resolved. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

In my personal opinion the most big problem is riches there gonna be the more riches, poors there goona be the more poors.
>> In my own personal opinion, i think the biggest problem our country is facing is that the rich people keep on getting rich and the poor remain poor. 

Because our economic structure do not working rounding.
>> It is because our economic structure is not working well. 

House price, the land price gonna be the more higher and higher every day.
>> House and land prices become higher everyday. 

Riches they very quickly got it because they have a lot of money and heard about something news, but just normal people we don't have any money and news.
>> Rich people can easily get it because they have a lot of money and usually know about it first. For normal people, we don't have money to afford it and we rarely get informed about it. 

The money circulation structure looks like I think it's becoming abnormal.
>>The circulation of money is not working well. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113751 I am proud of our language that name ¡®s ¡°Hangul¡± ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 174
113750 It is very important ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 137
113749 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 149
113748 My husband ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113747 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 131
113746 Choice between sleeping and eating °­* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 2
113745 Homework. °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113744 homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 399
113743 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113742 1110 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113741 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 171
113740 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 1
113739 Do you have any collections? Tell me about it. If not, what... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 154
113738 What part of your Korean history is your favorite? Explain why. ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113737 What do you think is the biggest problem your country is facing... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 0
113736 Which one more than like ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 161
113735 Homework À±*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 147
113734 What will you do this weekend? ¾È*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 145
113733 If you were a song, what song would you be and why? ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 4
113732 Respect ±â*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-10 112

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04