¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Affect bad effect to penguins

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2021-11-06 153

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think global warming affect lots of bad effects. Global warming makes the ice in north, and south poles melt. Penguins live on the ice land. But if the ice lands melt, then penguins lose their home. It makes penguins die. So global warming affects very bad effects to penguins.
(From now on, I'll write about scientific facts.)

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Daniel! You did an amazing job. Your reply is the perfect answer to the given question. I agree with what you wrote. You should only look for scientific facts. However, make sure you get your information from reliable websites. Alright? 

- Teacher Debbie


I think global warming affect lots of bad effects.
>> I think global warming has lots of bad effects.

Global warming makes the ice in north, and south poles melt. 
>> It makes the ice in the north and south poles melt. 

Penguins live on the ice land.
>> Penguins live on icy land.

But if the ice lands melt, then penguins lose their home.
>> However, if the ice melts, the penguins will lose their home.

 It makes penguins die. 
>> Penguins can die.

So global warming affects very bad effects to penguins.
>> Therefore, global warming has bad effects to penguins.

(From now on, I'll write about scientific facts.)
>> This is a good sentence. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113452 What do you think of Korea¡¯s three-phase plan to return to... ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 380
113451 Halloween costume ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 203
113450 What interest did you have when you were young that you are not... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-02 675
113449 what are the benefits of apologizing for something you have done... ¾ç*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 0
113448 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 0
113447 Abnormal Weather Cost South Korea 28 Trillion won last Year À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 1
113446 Short homework (I\'m annoying now) ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 1
113445 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 3
113444 oh...........It was wasteful......... ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 173
113443 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 176
113442 Homework ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 158
113441 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 223
113440 What public transport do you like the least and why? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 3
113439 ¼÷Á¦ Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 341
113438 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 188
113437 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 315
113436 If you can spend a day with a famous person, who would you pick... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 227
113435 Other countries ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 3
113434 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 170
113433 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-11-01 357

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04