¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the things we could do to protect ourselves from crime?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Çö
2021-11-02 168

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Sometimes I had the question too, so I have search on Youtube.
I watched many video, and I introduce the way of one.
Before I watched it, I think the way of protecting crime is making sentences be higher.
But the conclusion of many researches is making catching chance be higher.
Because usual criminals don't think about sentences and punishments.
They think that police can\'t catch them when the sentence is not high.
If they know that they must be caught,they hesitate of give up to do crime.
And the video said, "Therefore, we let precriminals know all of criminals are caught. It is the reason of importance of reporting a crime and claim to be a witness."
I agree it, and I promise myself If I see anycrime although the victim is stranger, I will report or help it. I don't have to miss it.
I believe It will make noncrime country.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Kang!

You really like writing essays.  It's a good way to learn English.  Keep on sharing your ideas.  But don't forget to read the corrections as well.  Take note of the right patterns and ask if you need to.  :)


-T. Maine


Sometimes I had the question too, so I have search on Youtube.

>>Sometimes, I have the question too so I have searched on YouTube for the answer.
 I watched many video, and I introduce the way of one.

>>I watched many videos and I saw one way.
 Before I watched it, I think the way of protecting crime is making sentences be higher.

>>Before I watched it, I thought the only way to protect us from crime is increasing the punishment for criminals.
 But the conclusion of many researches is making catching chance be higher.

>>But according to researches, the chance of getting a criminal caught is higher these days compared to the past.  
 Because usual criminals don't think about sentences and punishments.

>>Common criminals don't think about the sentence to be given to them in jail.
 They think that police can\'t catch them when the sentence is not high.

>>They think that police can't catch them when the sentence is not high.
 If they know that they must be caught,they hesitate of give up to do crime.

>>If they know that they will be caught, they will hesitate to do crimes.
 And the video said, "Therefore, we let precriminals know all of criminals are caught.

>>And the video said that it's going to let people know that all criminals were caught.

It is the reason of importance of reporting a crime and claim to be a witness."

>>It is also necessary to report a crime scene through witnesses.
 I agree it, and I promise myself If I see anycrime although the victim is stranger, I will report or help it. I don't have to miss it.

>>I agree with it.  I told myself that if I see any crime, I will report it or ask help from police officers.  I should not miss it.
 I believe It will make noncrime country.

>>I believe our country will become a crime-free place.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113634 What are you most afraid of? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 165
113633 My husband job ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 3
113632 For Jisun Oral Test 2 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 192
113631 For Jisun Oral Test 1 ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 183
113630 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-07 183
113629 Tell us about a memorable, enjoyable, or strange dream you\'ve... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 166
113628 Affect bad effect to penguins ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 160
113627 Tell Me About a Time You Demonstrated Leadership Skills. ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 175
113626 Have you ever been on a team where someone was not pulling their... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 161
113625 How do you handle working with people who annoy you? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 193
113624 What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 179
113623 Homework ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 174
113622 Are you a friendly person? Answer in a few sentences ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-06 144
113621 Homework ±è*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 466
113620 Daniel\'s first draft (Name :We could do with giving each... ¿À*°á ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 346
113619 Language ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 174
113618 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 151
113617 Why do you think people in Korea do not want to marry nowadays? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 2
113616 What role do you want to play when you get married and have a... ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 2
113615 My Homework °­*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-11-05 194

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04