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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

what are your favorite leisure sports?

작성자: 김*진
2021-10-26 227

회원님의 영작문

These days, in order to keep my health and feel vitality, I ride a bicycle as a leisure sports. Physical activities such as cycling provide vitality to office workers. There are many countries including Korea that have been invested the bike-infrastructures like bike-only road and bike-sharing system. Thanks to these investment, I can commute by bicycle. Through the cycling at the outside, I can feel the change of season. Especially, fall is the best season to ride a bicycle. Because we can see many beautiful yellow and red tree leaves along the bike road. And the cycling is one of the most effective aerobic exercise for overweight people. Adult men can consume about 500kcal by cycling for an hour. When riding a bicycle, it is recommended to be equipped with safety equipment such as helmets and gloves and observe traffic signals well. If we do that, it is a very safe sport. Not many people know well, but 3rd June every year is 'World Bicycle Day' designated by the United Nations.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morning Hag Jin! 
In my city there are many cycling events from young to adults. 
I think one of the professional bikers have started it, which is really good these days. 
Thank you for sharing and see you later. 

These days, in order to keep my health and feel vitality, I ride a bicycle as a leisure sports. 
>> These days, in order to keep my health and feel vitality, I ride a bicycle as a leisure sport. 
OR: These days, I ride a bicycle as a leisure sport to stay healthy and feel energized.
Physical activities such as cycling provide vitality to office workers. 
>> CORRECT! 
There are many countries including Korea that have been invested the bike-infrastructures like bike-only road and bike-sharing system. 
>> Many countries have invested in bicycle infrastructure such as bicycle-only roads and bicycle sharing systems, including Korea.
Thanks to these investment, I can commute by bicycle. 
>> Thanks to this investment, I can commute by bicycle. 
Through the cycling at the outside, I can feel the change of season. 
>> You can feel the change of seasons while riding a bicycle outside.
Especially, fall is the best season to ride a bicycle. 
>> In particular, autumn is the best season to ride a bicycle.
Because we can see many beautiful yellow and red tree leaves along the bike road. 
>> This is because we can see many beautiful yellow and red leaves along the bicycle path.
And the cycling is one of the most effective aerobic exercise for overweight people. 
>> And cycling is one of the most effective aerobic exercises for overweight people.
Adult men can consume about 500kcal by cycling for an hour. 
>> Adult men can burn about 500kcal by cycling for an hour. 
When riding a bicycle, it is recommended to be equipped with safety equipment such as helmets and gloves and observe traffic signals well. 
>> When riding a bicycle, it is recommended to have safety equipment such as helmet and gloves and observe the traffic signal as well.
If we do that, it is a very safe sport. 
>> CORRECT! 
Not many people know well, but 3rd June every year is 'World Bicycle Day' designated by the United Nations.
>> Not many people know well, but June 3 every year is World Bicycle Day designated by the United Nations.



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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
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