¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework from the lesson 10252021

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ºñ
2021-10-25 454

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



Oct 25 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost. Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame. A successful celebrity¡¯s aura is often so intense that people are too taken

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Eunbee!  Thank you for writing a logical essay. You made grammatically correct sentences. Keep up the good work.


- Debbie


Oct. 25, 2021
Homework: Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?


When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money on a monthly basis. 
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> When we think of a celebrity, we don¡¯t imagine a person getting paid an average amount of money monthly.

Rather, we picture a person with a glamorous lifestyle, flattered with extravagant garments, and befriended by rich and famous people. 
>> This is a good sentence.

We imagine such scene based on what we are shown by the media. 
>> This is a good sentence.

That is the reason why quite a number of teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.
>> This is a good sentence.
OR
>> That is the reason why quite several teenagers are yearning to become a celebrity.

However, what we often overlook is the effort invested for one to have a chance in becoming a celebrity. 
>> This is a good sentence.

Surely, lucky ones will get the chance for less cost.
>> This is a good sentence.

 Most of them, however, pleads that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they are presented to the public. 
>> Most of them, however, confessed that they suffered from the dangerously competitive environment before they were presented to the public. 

Also, even after their successful debut, they still have to struggle to the stable position when it comes to retaining their fame.
>> Moreover, even after their successful debuts, they still have to struggle to retain their fame.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
113193 Do you spend money on your hobby? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 2
113192 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 239
113191 Not to be included important information À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 232
113190 Journal ·ù*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-23 224
113189 Which is better: dating for a short time or a long time before... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113188 Do you think there would be less illness in the future? À±*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 247
113187 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1
113186 Fill in the blanks with suitable prepositional phrases ¼±* ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 189
113185 My dad ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 190
113184 I want to be strong and healthy ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 222
113183 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113182 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 4
113181 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 147
113180 Politicians before election day. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 199
113179 The reason to study English well. ¹Ú*Çù ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 200
113178 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113177 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 3
113176 e-mail correction ¹Ú*±¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 4
113175 What kind of activity do you want to try to be more fit than now? ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 2
113174 HOMEWORK: Do you would be a great leader? (why/why not) ¼Õ*Çü ¿Ï·á 2021-10-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04